Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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