I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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