he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
