i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
