she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
