I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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