About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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