Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
false alarm. still invincible.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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