:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
