My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
