it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
