He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize