i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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