This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
