So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
