im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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