I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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