Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Pants are for mortals
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
