How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
