please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
sick fucks of a feather flock together
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize