you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
