remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
