Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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