Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
