my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
