drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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