Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
