I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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