No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
