I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
