Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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