no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
