Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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