I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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