I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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