He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
