It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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