apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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