i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
