She announced her abortion via fbk
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
