there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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