you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
