Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
