ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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