I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
