I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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