i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
