You're my little dorito
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
