Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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