Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
