before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
