u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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