dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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