Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
