So drunk, too bad you don't want this
North Korea, Best Korea!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
