The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
