ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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