I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
